someone explain this 'meshmetha' crap to me...

ultoMa said:
the tradition argument is getting tiresome...we've had plenty of 'traditions' that we have no problem letting go of.

there used to be a tradition that married couples had boyfriends and girlfriends and were looked down upon if they didn't.  Why can't we bring that one back? 

Just because it's 'tradition' does not excuse it's stupidity and uselessness in modern day.  You can't use the tradition argument if you're picking and choosing which ones to follow.  If you make that argument, you have to follow EVERY tradition.
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It all depends on how seriously the person is taking this tradition, the whole thing is meant to be a light hearted affair, especially when you're going out with someone for a while and both families are aware of it. Similar to how many men ask for the woman's hand from her father even though its a done deal, our people send their family to ask for her hand even though the couple have already agreed.

I do try to follow every tradition that I'm aware of and help keep it alive.

 
Salem said:
Its tradition, what would be without traditions, a bunch of qarachayeh!!!

I'm definitely doing it when I ask for my future wife's hands, its all meant to be ceremonial, and I have to hear my dad saying "we've came to pick a flower from your garden". Haha
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I hate that. Its like come up with something more original. Someone came up with that once and everyone has copied him ever since.
 
khokheh said:
I hate that. Its like come up with something more original. Someone came up with that once and everyone has copied him ever since.
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teeyekh qachakh kha tamata qa geezaran.
 
khokheh said:
I hate that. Its like come up with something more original. Someone came up with that once and everyone has copied him ever since.
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OK OK, how about, "qawo'khon marertela, leh sha'tekhla haleget yawitolan matlaban "

 
Salem said:
It all depends on how seriously the person is taking this tradition, the whole thing is meant to be a light hearted affair, especially when you're going out with someone for a while and both families are aware of it. Similar to how many men ask for the woman's hand from her father even though its a done deal, our people send their family to ask for her hand even though the couple have already agreed.

I do try to follow every tradition that I'm aware of and help keep it alive.
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that's not really tradition!
the reall traditional way is when your family chose your bride and you have little or no say in it (or the girl).
no dating no nothing marriage, well unless you have a chaperone but even then...
 
Bunny said:
that's not really tradition!
the reall traditional way is when your family chose your bride and you have little or no say in it (or the girl).
no dating no nothing marriage, well unless you have a chaperone but even then...
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I'm saying the mashmeta part is tradition, not my whole life since the day I was born up to that day.

 
khokheh said:
I hate that. Its like come up with something more original. Someone came up with that once and everyone has copied him ever since.
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Me...tooooooooooooo.....

I won't allow a mashmeta personally, because I don't like the idea.  Unless it goes something like this: 

Guy: "Hala bratukh qatee"
My Babba:  "Igga ana motlee shola nasha khush baqir minnoh. Massin ANA yawinna?  Khu let bitlaba sheekar qa chai deeyukh?" (walks away grumbling and shaking his head)

[end scene]
[exit stage left]
 
waleeta said:
Me...tooooooooooooo.....

I won't allow a mashmeta personally, because I don't like the idea.  Unless it goes something like this: 

Guy: "Hala bratukh qatee"
My Babba:  "Igga ana motlee shola nasha khush baqir minnoh. Massin ANA yawinna?  Khu let bitlaba sheekar qa chai deeyukh?" (walks away grumbling and shaking his head)

[end scene]
[exit stage left]
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BUT BUT, you're a woman, so who cares what you think?

Your baba says "marry him", you marry him.

 
I love the mashmeta thingy and  the perosn who i'd love , should do that , he should bring his family and coem to meet my family and ask for my hand  :)
 
I didn't have one - heck i didn't even think about it nor did my family lol.

I guess we jumped to sealing the deal when exchanged rings in our engagment day at Church - and that was it, didn't want the engagment party either.  :mrgreen:
 
For anyone interested in this topic and want a quick summary:

  • Mashmetha: A pre-engagement ritual common to Assyrians and in the middle east in general, where the groom’s family informs the bride’s family of their son’s intention to marry their daughter.

  • Purpose: To avoid surprising the bride’s family with a sudden proposal, especially if they were unaware of their daughter’s relationship with the guy.

  • Criticism: Some people find this practice outdated, hypocritical, and restrictive, as it forces couples to lie and sneak around until they are ready to get engaged . But some argue it is a great tradition and should be maintained, at least in a symbolic sense. In other words, "Mashmetha" shouldn't be used as a court or verdict on whether the guy can have the girl he wants or not.

  • Variation: Some people have more tolerant and open-minded families who know and accept their dating partners without the need for mashmetha.
 
Man this thread was posted during the darkest days of my life (Jul-Aug 2008).

Alah la makhzeelokhon aneh yomaneh
 
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