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My Meeting with Ashur Panipal: Using a Time Machine to Explore our Past! ( Part 8)
By: Ashur Sada. June. 1st, 2008


We finally break for dinner. They have prepared one hell of a meal feast for me. Yes, only for me, otherwise it wouldn't be this big. I am starting to feel just as important as the king, if not more important.  I was hungry enough to eat a lot. The rest of the people in the room, including the king, his assistants, some family members, and  royal guards were also on the table, but everyone was focused on their own eating. No one was looking at one another. As for the food? well it was much healthier than your average fast food menu, and even healthier than how some of our Assyrians cook. There was a lot of grains and vegetables and some great beef. In fact the beef was the best I have ever eaten. I am sure the difference is in what these cows were fed back then, compared to what our cows of today are fed.

The dinner is almost done. The servants are now cleaning the table and the floor, making sure the king's surroundings are as clean and bright as possible. I then volunteer to help them with cleaning. This way, I can get some of the king's long hair, so I can take them with me to the future for DNA analysis. I have to make sure it is his hair and not someone else's. This will be one delicate and accurate task to pull off, but I will do my best. I only need a few hair pieces, not more than 5 or so. I ask the chief servant, and he is surprised with my asking to help them clean. At first, the king doesn't let me, since I am a special guest and should be served and not serve others. But I persist in asking, telling them that it is an honor to work in the palace. The king finally agrees. To make things even easier for me, he instructs that I only work close to where he was sitting. I get close to his chair, and start cleaning the floor. Well more like searching for his hair. It is not easy as I thought. I can't locate a single one of his hair. Seems like most of our Assyrian men today are not like our great king, with their hair falling in their mid twenties. I spend ten minutes, and not a single hair in his immediate vicinity, where he sits. I realize that I am just wasting my time, and should look for a better way to get some of his hair. An idea comes to me: clean and polish his golden chair, and in the process try to pull some of his hair. Yes you heard it right, I was going to try and pull some of Ashur Panipal's hair. I feel like I am on a suicide mission because this is not easy at all, and very serious. Anyway, I ask them for permission to do this, and they are OK with it.

I start polishing his chair, while he is sitting down. But there is a problem. The back of the chair is too high for his hair to flow on the back of the chair. God, what should I do? I have no choice but to go after his hair even if I have to extend my hand beyond his back. Slowly but careful, I extend my hand behind his back. First I rub my hand against the chair, in hopes of finding any fallen hair, stuck to the chair's back cushion. But there is nothing. Not a single hair. This is amazing. If I can only know what their secret is to such a healthy hair, I would be a millionaire in 2008! I guess I have no option left other than to pull his hair. And seeing how not a single hair has fallen from him, I can imagine it will be hard to pull, unless I pull hard at which point I will be in big trouble. I wait till he is distracted enough, and I get my hand into his long hair. I am ready to pull a hair. I do, and it doesn't come out. But the good news is, he doesn't feel it. I feel relieved. Time to give it another try. I pull, and I finally manage to get a hair. I repeat the process several times, and I manage to pull enough hair for a DNA analysis. I am not sure if he is feeling anything, but he won't turn his back, and neither do his guards. I slowly and carefully take the hair and squeeze it into my pants.

I am now done from my fake cleaning work, and go to sit down beside the king. He asks me more questions, but by now I feel more comfortable answering them. It is now time for me to tell them about the girl I fell in love with in the Guest House; Beleet!  I am astonished to find out that the girl is the daughter of one of the chief guards there. He is about 6 feet tall, and very heavy built. I also learn that he is one of the toughest hand and free fighters in Assyria. He can take on 10 men by himself and beat them all, using his bare hands. I am now thinking, what did I get myself into. Just his look at me made me scared to death. The king asks me:

-(The King) How do you know about these English spies, and would you not tell us if we don't offer the girl to you?
-(Myself)    Of course not, I care more about national security than about the girl. But I just liked the girl and would love to take her with me.

The guard, the father of the girl I am interested in, interrupts:

-(Guard) "She is my girl, and I will gladly give her to you, but first you have to tell us some things about the future and your technologies then. We may be able to use your time machine or technologies of the future to undo future events which don't favor us and our empire.
-(Myself) : "That is a great idea, and I will try to provide you with whatever information I can, if it is will help the king and the empire.

The king then whispers something in the guard's ears.

The king and the guard whose daughter I like, resume asking me about the Beleet, and how it would be possible to take her to the future. The king then asks a brilliant question:

-(The King) If you taker her to the future, won't she get thousands of years older?

To which I give an even more brilliant answer:

-(Myself) Well look at me sir, I came back from 2700 into the future, yet I am the same age as then.

-(The King) how will her family get in touch with her? is there a way to transport her back and fourth between now and the future?

This is a question I wasn't sure about? I can either lie my way through it or just come up with an answer, and hope to be able and deliver on it.

-(Myself) Well although it is not as easy as switching a button (as if they knew what a switching a button is) but it is possible and she will be able to visit them every now and then.


Coming up next, the father asks his daughter whether she likes me and if she wants to come with me to the future. Time is running out, I need to be back to the future, otherwise I will never be able to. A setting in my time machine would deny me from ever going back to the future again if I don't go back within the next few days.




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